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![]() Saturday, Sept. 08, 2001 - 9:16 p.m. Hey, this is Preston putting in a guest entry for Lauren here. (Disclaimer: Anything in this entry is my thoughts and mine alone, except possibly my quote at the end, and has not in anyway been cencered. Please dont hurt me for anything I say...please?) Where to begin...Well While in Bumble Lauren got several speaches about how bad Ben #2 is and how great I am and how she should stop associating with him and go to me. While this is very favorable to me, it just wouldn't seem too right (maybe to all of you watching this little soap opera but not to me) Once back she gave the reins to me to deside the fate of the two of us. Of course I chose that Lauren and I be together. So started our boyfirend/girlfriend period. It also started my happy time. I had one week of pure happiness. Nothing bothered me and all was going good and my way for once. We walked down Ventnor Ave togetehr and many people saw us ruining my reputation (in a good way) But anyway, I was happy for once in my life and all was great. It did feel weird to be happy though, I haven't been that happy ever in my life. One week later Ben and I came to a head and made all things clear, right after this I wasn't very happy anymore. Appairently Lauren was "shootin piss and vinigar" as ben put it, about going with me. The next day She came over to type a paper for school. We talked a while on the deck and she broke it off with me. I was pretty beaten up about it, not so much that things were changing much its just one thing that got to me. Before I was able to kiss her when ever I wanted and it would mean something everytime. Now I am not allowed to kiss her anymore... I had to take care of something before she left though, I had to kiss one final time. I tryed my best not to frown so that my lips stayed pressed to hers, but it didn't help much. I couldn't keep that picture in my mind so later Lauren heard that I could barely kiss her and then she made me kiss her for the actual final time. This one I cant forget. I got snot in her face I'm sure from the crying I did. but in the end there was one tear rolling down my left cheek and I had to pull away, never to press my lips against her soft gentle lips ever again... I truely Love Lauren and I know that she loves me in return. We mean a lot to each other. She did this because she thought it was for the best. She isn't in the greatest states of mind and I dont know if she'd be able to handle a relationship with anyone. But...I still wish she was with me. I wish I could still hold her close and kiss her...but I will wait on and hope for the best and do a lot of praying. I am all messed up about this already, but I'm not obsessing, just waiting patiently. Of course ben was happy and he offered me his stash of coors light bottle which I refused and I drank burboun instead to wash away the bad feelings... Well that all for now, I'm sure Lauren will update this later, Tah Tah! "Lord, May others treat me tomorrow the way I treat them today" "Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear."
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