Once again, I am babysitting, and therefore have access to a computer. The week will end in an hour and a half. A brief synopsis of it:

Everything started out on the right foot. I got a boyfriend, I was happy, I was totally living large. And then...

Monday an announcement goes over the intercom that I received a commendation for my PSATs from the scholarship people. I think, "Great! Free money for college!" So I go down to the main office to see what's up. The first secretary I talk to sends me to another secretary, who sends me to the guidance office, and the secretary there sends me to my counselor, who takes me to some guy I don't even know what he does, who sends me back down to the main office to the principal's secretary. For two days I have to keep going back to this secretary, and I even have to tell her off at one point, until finally I get my letter of commendation at the end of school on Tuesday. And the letter says, in so many words:

Congratulations on a job well done. We're not giving you a f*ckin' dime.

My week was fairly horrible from that point on.

Now I have no idea how I'm going to pay for college, and the whole situation is making me feel pretty inadaquate. It's like, I did a good job, but not good enough. Is that the way my whole life has been? Not being good enough? Maybe I'm taking this to extremes but I'm really upset about the whole thing. I just hope I can get scholarship money elsewhere, or I'm totally screwed. The whole thing has put a damper on my week and has made me really pissy. I just continually feel like I'm totally unappreciated, especially by the people who mean the most to me. I hope I get over it soon because I want to be my cheerful, optimistic self again.

Leah is sick in the hospital. I miss joking aroung with her in anatomy class. I hope she feels better soon. I worry about her a lot lately.

On a lighter note, I saw "Bubblegum Crisis" for the first time on Thursday night at Ben #2's house. It rocked! Preston just got "Akira" on video and I plan to see that soon, too. I also want to get more images for the diary and stuff but until I get my own computer again it's going to be pretty hard. Hopefully I'll get one soon.

"...there is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." -Oscar Wilde

"Do a little dance!"

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