Yesterday was as traumatic a day as it could have possibly been. I tried to take the bus down to Ben's house to pay him a surprise visit, and ended up going through quite an ordeal due to confusing bus schedules and cold weather, only to find that he wasn't home. I went home pretty upset (not only was I disappointed, but I felt pretty damn stupid besides), and later he called me and I eventually told him the whole story. I was afraid he'd laugh at me for being such a meatball head but he said it was very sweet of me. He came over and we spent a little time together. He'll be back in school Monday. I miss seeing him around.

I can't explain why, but lately I've been having these wicked mood swings and constant ups and downs. It's very confusing and frustrating and I wish I could just be stable and normal again but I don't know when that will happen. In any case, it's worrying Ben, and I don't want him or anybody else to worry about me. It's crazy I guess.

Lately I've been putting a lot of work into some manga ideas of mine. Jason says I should put some of my drawings in this diary, but I'm not sure they're good enough to put in yet. I'm too much of a perfectionist to ever really be satisfied with any of my drawings. Ben's that way too, but I think he's much harder on himself than he likes people to believe.

"Silly human race..." -Yes

"Do a little dance!"

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